Yesterday, a friend tagged me on a photo that made me miss the gorgeous beaches of Palawan–and that made me wish I were back to the good ol’ days of my 100-pound frame. The photo, as you will see here below, does a very good job of highlighting the fact that I now have more weight than a mommy-to-be and more flesh on my arms than a baby’s thighs.
When I commented on the Facebook page where this was posted, my friend joked that I could have it fixed using Adobe Photoshop.
That made me pause for a while. Do I really want to do that?
I then realized that, as heavy or as large as I am now, this is who I am–and I am grateful for every inch of me. Photoshopping my photo can make me look better, but I doubt that it will be healthy for my self-image. Those of you who have known me through the years and who have been reading my old blog posts know about my love-hate relationship with food and my obsession with weight. Oddly enough though, this photo made me realize, for the first time in years, that I accept all of this and love who I am now–no ifs or buts.
I may not be able to don my favorite teal tankini any more, but that didn’t stop me from donning a bathing suit and snorkeling when I had the chance. I may not be able to wear my favorite pairs of comfy jeans and tube tops, but that didn’t stop me from shedding my sleeves and sunbathing to my heart’s content. I may not fit into the new clothes that I see on the shop windows, but at least my job and my lifestyle allow me to experience some of the very best the world has to offer. I may have gained a third of my old weight in the past two years, but I also feel that I’ve gained at least triple the experience and the skills to move my career and my life along.
I know that I’ll be fit again, someday soon (especially with my yoga classes coming up). But being overweight won’t stop me from loving myself, and it certainly won’t stop me from living the life I want to live.
For now, this is me, and I am perfectly okay. 🙂