On November 22, on the morning of my Big Interview, I saw this posted on my Facebook wall:
It was sent to me by my friend Loes van Mierlo of SacredDiscovery.com, who wrote that she just thought of me when she saw this message.
Since I got that on the morning of The Interview (more on this soon), I took it to mean that doing the interview would be a breeze for me–that I was meant to coast this one along and pass it with flying colors. I had other plans for 2012, I thought, but maybe this message coinciding with the interview was a sign FOR the interview that was to take place and for everything else that came with it.
That night, after trying very hard to be Zen about the whole thing (which, of course, defeated the purpose of “being Zen”), the Universe seemed to have other plans for me. After psyching myself up for 30 minutes before the interview, as soon the Skype call came in and as soon as I had pressed the “Answer” button, my computer crashed.
Yes–CRASHED. Blue screen, white text. THAT kind of crash.
What on earth was the Universe trying to tell me??
I tried desperately to regain my bearings and to resume the call as quickly as possible. All in all, I lost 10 minutes of the allotted 30 minutes, and I was short of being a distracted wreck when I finally came face-to-Skype-face with my interviewer. I didn’t do as well as I had hoped, but apparently, I did well enough to have been shortlisted for the process.
Tonight, eight days after finding about about the shortlisting, I’m still waiting for an answer.
In the meantime, other offers–other signs–have come up. Some of them are perfectly aligned with each other, making it easy for me to swing one way; but some of them are TOTALLY divergent and would bring me down a completely different path. Or at least a different path “for now”. Each of them has its clear merits; each also has its own life-shaping minuses. And none of them answer the Big Question about The Interview and The Path that would ensue after that.
So, in an effort to be a bit mature about this (“mature” meaning admitting that I absolutely do not know what to think anymore), I decided to consult The Universe.
Here is what it said:
Um, yes. Very clear answer, Uni. You’ve confounded me even more, and while I appreciate the love that you have obviously been showing me, you need to know that you aren’t being very helpful. At least not in the way that I need you to help me. Or maybe I’m not getting the message clearly enough.
In any case, I need to know what is what, Universe. If I am wrong, I need to know exactly WHAT I am wrong about. Then maybe I won’t have to spend so much time guessing, and I can instead chill out and live life a bit more excitedly and fearlessly like I used to. I’ll need you to be my super-honest-best-friend-who-will-say-things-like-they-are and not be the tease that you are now.
Okay? One more time.
Now we’re talking.
Someday, Universe, that thing that will be named after me will soooo rock. You’ll see.
P.S. I signed this contract.