On Grief (dedicated to the families of Newtown, Connecticut)

I’ve been trying to feel “Christmasy” all week, and the task was made even more difficult when I awoke to news of the horrifying scene at Newtown, Connecticut. I don’t know anyone from Newtown and have never even been near Connecticut, but I don’t think you need to know any of the victims or their families to feel the same shock that is reverberating throughout the world. You only need to be human to feel even just a sliver of the pain and the grief that the whole Newtown community is experiencing right now.

There truly are no words to describe this horrifying event, and I’m sure no words will be enough to console the families during this time of immeasurable loss and intense grieving. Christmas isn’t supposed to be like this–especially not for those poor, innocent children and their families.

Closer to our respective communities and homes, some of us may also be experiencing some form of grief or another. To be with you during this time, here are some excerpts that I’ve picked out from The Daily Om.

Creative Commons photo courtesy of Photos-Public-Domain.com
Creative Commons photo courtesy of Photos-Public-Domain.com

From Courage to Grieve by Judy Tatelbaum (in The Daily Om)

The death of a loved one is the most profound of all sorrows. The grief that comes with such a loss is intense and multifaceted, affecting our emotions, our bodies, and our lives. Grief is preoccupying and depleting. Emotionally, grief is a mixture of raw feelings such as sorrow, anguish, anger, regret, longing, fear, and deprivation. Grief may be experienced physically as exhaustion, emptiness, tension, sleeplessness, or loss of appetite. Grief invades our daily lives in many sudden gaps and changes, like that empty place at the dinner table, or the sudden loss of affection and companionship, as well as in many new apprehensions, adjustments, and uncertainties. The loss of a loved one throws every aspect of our lives out of balance. The closer we were to the person who died, the more havoc the loss creates. Love does not die quickly. Hence to grieve is also “to celebrate the depth of the union. Tears are then the jewels of remembrance, sad but glistening with the beauty of the past. So grief in its bitterness marks the end . . . but it also is praise to the one who is gone.”

Read the full post HERE.

Embracing Grief” (from The Daily Om, via Creations Magazine)

Change is something that happens each and every moment in our lives. Since nothing is constant, it may sometimes seem as if we are losing something whenever things do change. Understanding that this is part of our daily existence and that there will not only be gains but also losses in our lives can help us more readily accept and deal with whatever happens. Whenever we lose something or somebody we love, it is important for us to take time out for ourselves and truly feel the weight of what we are experiencing. Although it may seem that doing so will push us into a deeper state of sadness, truly giving ourselves permission to be with whatever arises, actually creates space for us to begin the healing process.

Read the full post HERE.

“Sharing Grief” (from The Daily Om, via McAyzer.blogspot.com)

When we experience something that causes us to feel shock and sadness, we may feel the urge to withdraw from life. It may seem like remaining withdrawn will keep us protected from the world, but during these times it is important to reach out to those trusted and precious people who care about us the most. Even with our best information and reasoning, we never know when someone else’s experience or perspective can give us additional information that we need. The universe speaks to us through many channels, and when we open ourselves up to receive its messages, we also receive nurturing care from a loving partner in life’s journey. Grief is part of the human experience, and sharing our vulnerabilityis what creates truly close bonds in our relationships. Opening ourselves up in this way gets to the core of our being, past all of our defenses and prejudices. When life seems to crack the outer shell of our world, we are both raw and fresh at the same time. It is then that we discover who is truly willing to walk with us through life.
Read the full post HERE.
* * *
And here is a beautiful poem on loss and grieving, by the Italian-English poet, Christina Rossetti.

Christina Rossetti

Come to me in the silence of the night;
Come in the speaking silence of a dream;
Come with soft rounded cheeks and eyes as bright
As sunlight on a stream;
Come back in tears,
O memory, hope and love of finished years.

O dream how sweet, too sweet, too bitter-sweet,
Whose wakening should have been in Paradise,
Where souls brim-full of love abide and meet;
Where thirsting longing eyes
Watch the slow door
That opening, letting in, lets out no more.

Yet come to me in dreams, that I may live
My very life again though cold in death;
Come back to me in dreams, that I may give
Pulse for pulse, breath for breath:
Speak low, lean low,
As long ago, my love, how long ago.

* * *

May all of you who are grieving in one way or another find solace and comfort around you. *Love and light*


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