January 1, 2015
Earlier today, I shared this post on Instagram:
Today, Jan. 1, 2015, marks the start of what for me will be #365lovingdays: loving to myself, to others, to my life work, and to the world.
I begin tonight’s reflection with this: my “candle altar”, filled with dried flowers from a bouquet that my former husband, Paul, gave me a month ago. He gave the flowers as a symbol of his gratitude and friendship. I accepted the flowers as a symbol of humility and forgiveness. And, today, I place them here upon my altar, with the reclining Buddha as a witness, to manifest that out of old love, forgiveness, and peace will spring forth healing, new love, and joy.
We have hurt and been hurt much, but we have also learned much. My wish for the new year is that out of this hurt will come true healing, forgiveness of the self and of others, and a deep love that never fades away.
Hello, 2015. I wish love and light to the world. *Namaste*
#hello2015 #reflections #365lovingdays
Those of you who know me well know my story: in 2014, I separated from my husband of almost five years and partner of almost 11 years, after a two-year period of hemming-and-hawing and waiting-and-seeing. It was a long-overdue decision, and I stayed longer in the marriage than I should have because I somehow saw the end of a marriage as “failure”—and I grew up promising myself that I wouldn’t “fail” in a marriage.
You see, I’m the product of what they in the ‘80s and ‘90s called a “broken family.” My parents separated when I was just barely six years old, and the wounds from that time were so deep that I promised myself two things: (1) that I would prove to the world that I was not “broken” the way my family was perceived to be; and (2) that what happened to my parents would not—never, ever—happen to me and my future spouse.
So I stayed and waited and rationalized, and I did what many smart, hard-working, independent, strong-willed women do: live in denial and believe (with all your heart and soul) that if you only tried and worked harder (just like in your career) things would sort themselves out and be all right.
In the end, and after much discernment, I realized that the most loving thing to do—for myself, for my (former) spouse, and for everyone around us—was to let go. THAT decision sparked a world of change for me (more on all these soon) and brought me some of the most profound moments of self-awareness, self-discovery, self-love, transformation, vulnerability, openness, and joy.
So, inasmuch as I love what 2014 did for me, it is now time to bid it a bittersweet farewell and usher in new adventures and new miracles for 2015.
Speaking of new adventures: I’ve made a commitment to reactivate this blog, Little Rich Girl, and to keep it fresh and interesting for you, dear readers. Our theme for January will be “Fresh Starts”, and I hope you’ll join me here as I chronicle some of my own insights and experiences on starting fresh and renewing the self. If you have burning questions or insights you’d like to share, please do share them in the comments section; I appreciate receiving feedback from those who care enough and take the time to read my words. 🙂
I’ve also created the hashtag #365LovingDays, to remind myself to be more loving to myself, to others, to my life work, and to the world—every single day this year. Feel free to use it yourself, if you deem it appropriate, and do tag me (@ninaterol on Instagram and Twitter) if you’ve got something to share as well.
In the meantime, I thank you profusely for taking the time to check out this blog. Do join me for the rest of the journey, and may YOUR 2015 be as love-filled, as authentic, and as abundant as I hope (and claim!) mine will be.
*Love and light*